W2B returns tomorrow morning, bright and early, and I am beside myself with excitement and impatience. It’s been difficult being at such distance, and despite my progress in writing here, my messaging has let us down and there’s been more than a little tension. But with her return comes another potential nugget of tension – my writing schedule.
We have the most amazing evenings together, and both enjoy constant company. In fact I’ve actually felt conflicted in the past about writing because I didn’t want to shut her out and neither did I want to miss out on some ‘us’ time. We’ve moved a long way since then, of course, finding that we can work well together on a writing project. But that doesn’t mean she will always want to write each evening.
At the moment I’ve kept this going often because we talk via the internet so I’m at the laptop for a long time, either before, during or after us talking. I come home and turn it on, and it stays on until I got to bed. Sorry world. Usually I end up, like this, writing the post after I’ve eaten, relaxed, watched some TV maybe some videogames… Basically the last thing of the day. But I don’t think that will work when there’s both of us around.
Which perhaps isn’t a bad thing anyway – I’ve missed a few days because I just didn’t feel I wanted to write enough, and if I’m leaving it until last and my better half isn’t around in a different time zone after I’ve posted to keep me at the laptop, I’m never going to get any real writing done, on my own or with her. Especially since if I write this for 20 mins or so it still is very solitary, and at 10.30pm I’m sure she won’t want to be hanging around while I tick a daily box.
So perhaps I’ll write the minute I come home, though again I don’t like it being the structure around which my evening revolves, especially since it is after all supposed to lead on to some actual writing. Instead while admittedly it’s keeping me going in this style I’m looking to develop, once I’ve finished this post I’ll be turning the PC off and going to bed. After some last minute tidying, that is.
But, again, this isn’t perhaps a bad thing. If I’m going to do this and W2B is here then I better do it for the right reasons, or I may as well not be doing it at all. And then once I’ve written this we can both kick off a session of poem writing and hopefully get a good section of it all licked before she leaves. At which point I really should start pushing this exercise beyond simply hitting a word count and shutting down.
I’ve found a routine in this, which is why I’m always trying to keep my head and actually it’s why I’m not forcing myself into a post all the time – the last thing I want it to become is a rod for my own back. It ought to be helping. This is, somewhat. We have to address writing in the evening when she’s around, and since she reads my journal entries there’s no possibility that we won’t address it.
It’s not a big deal, we can definitely find a way to make it work. The difficulty is in that this really is a selfish act, I am only doing it for – hopefully – my own future success in something that I’ve chosen to do but which might never come to any great result. But given that she’s bought me the most wonderful gift of a typewriter, well, I don’t think my incredible fiancée is going to begrudge an hour a night. In fact, she’ll be part of it.